The chewy center of my stupid head

So not one person has asked me what the title of my blog, ‘Chocolate or Poop,’ means, which makes me think it’s time I set the record straight. Chocolate is a food made from roasted ground cacao beans and poop is poop. If you don’t know what poop is, stop reading this and take your first ever poop. No, better yet, print this out and take it with you to the bathroom. I’ll include instructions:

Find the toilet. It’s the stationary porcelain cylinder, probably white. Sit down on it. If it makes you feel more comfortable, introduce yourself. Next remove your pants to a point no lower than your ankles. It is acceptable to remove your pants entirely if, and only if, there is at least a 50% chance you will need to make a fast getaway. Now, relax your butt muscles using either mindpower or a mild sedative. What occurs next is the natural process referred to as pooping. When the poop act is complete pull your pants up and exit the room immediately…..HA! You never wiped your butt! Just a little toilet hazing, newbie. Now go change your pants.

So that’s pooping. Much like visits to this blogsite I recommend doing it at least once a day. I plan on updating frequently so please stop by and let me type at your eyeballs. It won’t always be about pooping. I have material about the other bodily fluids, as well. Like boogersnots. Boogersnots will probably get its own week.

My name is Ben and I blogged this.