If you haven’t seen last night’s Lost (or you are drinking the milk in my fridge), stop reading (and drinking)! SPOILER ALERT!
This post is going to be cuss-laden with excitement. That was the best goddamn episode of Lost ever. There are nights that seem appropriate for love-making. After a sweet film or an elegant meal. Last night wasn’t one of them. After that episode, if you have any sense of decency, you fucked. Fucked hard. Some nights are good for fucking. Last night WAS one of them. And no matter your gender, no matter who you were fucking, everyone was picturing Sayid. Fucking last night brought you closer to Sayid.
I didn’t fuck, but I did aggressively hump my pillow for a good half-hour afterwards.
How much did I like that episode? When it was over I promptly watched it again. Then I woke up this morning and started making a “Best of the Best: Sayid” video mix. I’m not even kidding. Here is a clip from last night that, in my always-accurate opinion, was the greatest 40 seconds in the show’s five-year run:
He’s like a cross between the Iraqi Joker and Charles Nelson Reilly in that scene. Why is he laughing at the end? Was he dosed with a gay truth syrum? It was ridiculous. I’ve watched it at least 40 times. That’s once per second of clip.
Then there was the ending. HOLY SHIT! They killed a kid. Sure, that kid may have been a young Hitler, but they killed him as a kid. And I think we all saw it coming, though deep-down we never believed it could happen. On ABC? That’s the Disney-owned network. Killing kids is for Nickelodean. Not anymore. Disney killed a kid. Watch it again:
Really that episode was all about Sayid, Sawyer, and Jin: The three faces of man-crush. Everyone, men and women alike, had boners last night. Mine is just subsiding. Less Lost, more allergic reaction to Viagra. But still…
My name is Ben and this is my Lost blog. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Fuggit.
I feel you, dawg. I mean cat. Baths suck!
Unless you are this kitty:
In which case, FUCK YOU CAT!
Just kidding. I can’t hate on a kitty like that. Especially not one with this much game. Play on, pussy, play on!
My name is Ben and this barely counts as blogging.