Manny & Mexican: A Tale Told in Tanka Prose

The tanka poem is a set of five lines containing the syllabic pattern: 5-7-5-7-7. Tanka prose follows the same format, but is less gay. Just kidding. It’s equally gay. Let us do this!

Manny Pacquiao
For a Southeast Asian guy
You look a lot like
This Mexican dude Manuel
who delivers me tacos.

Seriously, dude
Did you pick up a few shifts?
You were in LA
Is this how you train for fights?
Ricky Hatton thinks it works.

Don’t quit your day job
Faster service comes when I
Order from Mexico
Worst deliverer in town
But I can’t stay mad at you.

You look like one of
Those cute monkeys that always
Finds Hidden Treasure
I want to cuddle with you.
And share in your vast fortune.

But the Monkey
Could deliver food faster
It’s Mexican food
How long can it take, Pacman?
Meat on a damn tortilla!

You destroyed Hatton
In like five stupid minutes
But can’t bike one mile
In under an hour?
This shit is ridiculous.

Los Angeles heat
Plus low quality carne
In the end, equals:
“These tacos taste like swine flu.”
Damn you, Manny Pacquiao.

My name is Ben and I hangrily blogged this.