Hey Dumb Spender
By now you’ve probably heard about the Xbox Nikes, Sole Junkie’s custom shoe endorsed by neither Xbox nor Nike. They fetched $4001 bucks on ebay. That’s $4002 more than the me-autographed bunny slippers I sold (I had to buy them myself to avoid the embarrassment, then paid a buck in service charges).
These kicks are much cooler than my bunny slippers. You can play video games on them. Wait, no you can’t. But you can jump to video-game heights in them. No, can’t do that either. Well, at least they glow in the dark thanks to fiber-optic technology built into the sneaker. Until you step in a puddle. Then, thanks to fiber-optic technology built into the sneaker, you will glow.
That’s not true, actually. The shoe was designed and tested to function safely on a baby. A baby that wears a size 11 basketball shoe. Because there is only one pair of these shoes made, and it’s a size 11. Who knows, maybe Shaq bought them for his Bigfoot baby. I considered making the purchase, but they’re too small. And my feet are heterosexual. My elbows, on the other hand…
Unless you frequent gay St. Patrick’s Day parades, these kicks aren’t seeing the light of day very often. More often in the dark of night. They glow, after all. Which should help the muggers to find them. Good thing the shoe comes with a rape whistle. Nope, doesn’t have that either.
My name is Ben and this blog is both one of a kind and free to you.
Lightning Strikes Space Needle (Not a Chlomidia Story)
In badass news from Seattle…
I hope no one lives on the tip of that Space Needle. That would be tragic.
My name is Ben and I blogged a little of this.
My Name is Ben
