Choke on Jokes

In case it rains later, somebody pop by the UCB-LA and throw a tarp over it, ’cause THE BIRTHDAY BOYS and A KISS FROM DADDY blew the roof off the bitch last night!

While you’re over there, clean up a bit of the blood and debris, since yesterday it was the site of a major fucking laugh riot! Seriously, it got scary funny up in that piece. Folks were uncontrollably laughing and grabbing. I feared for my safety. Try laughing and fearing at the same time, that shit’ll cause a schizoid episode.

One more thing: Since you’re already at the UCB, maybe resuscitate a few of the bodies, as folks was laughing ’til they couldn’t breathe last night! Funny is nice to a point, but Wednesday night was a choking hazard. The difference between dunking and drowning a dude is letting him come up for air. Let us catch our breath!

If you were at the show you know what I’m talking about. Those of you who weren’t, what’d you do last night? Fuck a stranger? Wrestle a cat? You can do them thangs on Thursdays! If you live in Los Angeles and aren’t coming to the sketch show at UCB at 8PM on the first Wednesday of the month then you’re just not a fan of the best days of months. If it was up to you everyday would be the first Monday of your period, and I feel sorry for you.

If I’m going to feel sorry for you let it be because you choked on a joke or got trampled by a laugh riot or were crushed by a blown-off roof (provided comedy blew the roof and not torrential storms). Because if any of those things happen, I most certainly will feel sorry you, but I’ll also know you died happy.

My name is Ben and I blogged this.