(posted by t.j. peters)
It’s finally here! Clear your fucking schedules and put a mirror in front of your television set, cause it’s time to figure out what celebrity you mildly resemble and let the world witness, profile-style! That’s right! It’s Facebook Doppelganger Weeeeeeeek!!!
Excuse me? What do you mean Doppelganger Week already ended? . . . Well I don’t care, I just fucking heard about it and want to put up a picture of Ryan Gosling from Lars and the Real Girl! . . . Yes, of course I’m growing out my mustache. I want it to be accurate . . . Oh, whatever, like you make the rules, Mom! I’m doing it, anyway . . . Yeah, love you, too. Facebook forever.
It’s true, my mother and I end our telephone conversations with the phrase “Facebook forever”. It’s an Irish thing. Sign offs aside, this transcribed conversation brings up a very good point. When the hell did Doppelganger Week begin and, in turn, when is it supposed to end? For all I know it started off months ago in Mark Zuckerberg’s parents’ basement (where I assume he still lives despite his estimated two billion dollar net worth), and here I am looking like a boob wearing white after Labor Day, not because I’m not aware of the faux pas, but because I still think it’s fucking August! We need some organization! A calendar of some kind!
To iron the whole thing out, I contacted Mark Zuckerberg directly. Though it took him nearly eight minutes to accept my friend request, he did respond to my query soon thereafter. The message read:
I’m very sorry for the confusion regarding Doppelganger Week. I understand how frustrating it can be to sit on your hands while waiting for the internet’s painstakingly inefficient flow of information to travel. It’s like the Pony Express, am I right? Please allow me to clear things up. First off, I’d just like to let you know that I really appreciate you participating in Doppelganger Week 2009, even though you were a little late. (You DO look like that pervert Ryan Gosling! OMG!) It’s users like you that make me rich enough to own two Rolls Royces, yet keep me lame enough to park them in my parents’ driveway. Looking to the future, I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that Doppelganger Week 2010 is right around the corner! It officially begins on February 8 (this Monday) and ends at a month to be determined later. Hope that gets you all caught up!
Mark “Nerd” Zuckerberg
My name is t.j. and you’re going to hear about his blog in my status.