Japanese Poetry Week Continues (And Ends)

I had such a fun time playing with tanka yesterday that today I’m treating us all to a few prose pieces of the haiku variety. You remember haiku from middle school: 5-7-5 syllables. Feel free to count my syllables and call me out on my mistakes. I will gladly admit to them. And then hunt you down. Alright, yo. Haikuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Haiku, I’d like to Ride You
Haiku, I’d like to
Take you to a nice supper
Then maybe bed you.

We’ll start with a kiss
Then I will caress your neck
And feel your bosom.

I’ll slip off your dress
Lift you by your sweet round ass
Gently lay you down.

Then I’ll climb on top
Run my hands through your long hair
And massage your skin.

A lover’s embrace
Our bodies pressed together
I’ll penetrate you.

Slowly, lovingly
One syllable at a time
Until you climax.

You Have to Discipline Your Ham Salad
Ham Salad, you make
A better door than window
Sitcho pink ass down.

Watch your tone, Ham Salad
I brought you into this world
I can take you out.

I am serious!
Stop misbehaving at once!
Are you listening?!

Then I have no choice.
It’s too late for sorry now
Get the bread, Ham Salad.

Fruit by the Foot
If I were a girl
Banana in a condom
Would always trump cock.

Slightly under-ripe
Halfway from green to yellow
For added firmness

No small bananas
Only massive ‘nana rods
In both length and girth.

I’d peel off the top
Cause I prefer my fruit cocks
To be circumcised.

The Case of the Missing Cheeto
Hey, Mister, come here.
Where did you get that Cheeto?
It looks just like mine.

Strange coincidence.
Two such similar Cheetos.
No accusation.

I’m sure it is yours
Just looks VERY similar.
Lying sack of shit.

My name is Ben, I am a blogger and a poet.