This is actual news.
Pectoral politics, sheesh. What’s next? I’ll tell you what: This is about to go below the belt. And by that I mean right below the belt. The penis. Penis measuring contest. Winner gets France.
In other news, that other news made me want to move to the forest forever.
In near-future news, I move to the forest forever.
In two hours after near-future news, I die from the first thing I eat, proving that forever can potentially be quite short, especially in the forest.
In two days after that news, Putin and Obama measure their dicks at my funeral. Winner gets to fondle my corpse in France. Where that sort of thing is acceptable.
My name is Ben and I blogged this.